Author: fmaadmin

Where do you look for you?

Where do you look for you?

For some of you that have always known your awesome sauce, I am sure it is hard to imagine hiding it for so long that you aren’t even sure what it is.

Sometimes it’s just easier to apply a stereotype than explore and be your true self. You simply don the uniform of the stereotype you choose, add the expected persona, and there you are. Fully formed without need for vulnerability, fear, exposure. It’s quite wonderful at the beginning. No one knows your socially unacceptable secret. You remove your personality, opinions, and voice.

When we teach our children to doubt their own instincts, we are essentially taking away their voice.  So as adults, they ask for everyone else’s opinion. They are paralyzed without social consent and seek stereotypes to mimic since they are too frightened to be who they are for fear of being wrong.

Maybe this is just my journey… my lonely little journey. I hope so and hope not all that same time.

Am I the only person finding my voice? Am I the only person that needed permission to be me?


I say to myself as loud as I can…



Be Who You Are

Be Who You Are

Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don’t matter and those who matter don’t mind. – Dr. Seuss

It shouldn’t be hard, but I know it is… Peeling off the onion layers of fear and shame take time… but stay with it… It has taken me so many years to adjust. When I look at my own kids. I think… I had it, but it was shamed or disciplined out of me… and now 48 years I am fighting to find it.

Be brave…

1. Express your uniqueness daily.

  • Create a daily practice of doing or saying something that expresses you regardless of social acceptance. It can be as simple as a wardrobe choice or saying no.

2. Make time for brief moments of solitude.

  • Connect with yourself.

3. Re-connect to a childhood passion.

  • Remember how much you loved one thing as a kid. Do it. Do it today!

4. Write down three things that you truly value.

  • Think about what you really truly care about.

5. Go easy on the pressure.

There’s a difference between compromising your true self and having multiple passions. Don’t put too much pressure on yourself to make the right choice when it comes to your calling. Sometimes you just have to pick something and take action.

6. Create relationships based on being you.

Some people are more naturally inclined to care what others think. If you are one of those people, you also likely have a great propensity to be empathetic. Build upon that strength and reach out to others to get the support you need.

7. Find your mantra.

Sometimes we end up compromising who we are because it is hard to say no. Write down on a small card your response to requests for your time or an opinion you are not prepared to give. Doesn’t have to be eloquent—“Huh, I’ll have to think about that” works.

8. Support someone else in self-expression.

When you see someone standing out rather than fitting in, be a voice of encouragement and support.

9. Create art.

Buy a small journal or notebook just for self-expression. It will be one of the best purchases you will ever make. Spend even one minute a day writing or drawing a picture. No directions required.

10. Remind yourself how important this is.

Hang up a sign with the quote at the beginning of this post or another that reminds you the importance of being you.